It seems like this title is instructing you to give yourself a hug. Or perhaps to do something morally unmentionable in a general audience.
Relax, I’m not pinging on either of those. When I talk about loving yourself, I talk about knowing yourself and protecting yourself. Caring for yourself. But this isn’t supposed to come from vanity or ego. Think about it more like external shields from negativity and an internal housekeeping on the same team. We don’t do this enough. We don’t draw boundaries when we should and we beat ourselves up for things beyond our control. This little note is about self love and eating.
Is it bad to eat double-stuffed-candy-corn-fudge-dipped Oreos? Not necessarily. But those who market them know how to make foods that target our neurobiological sweet spot. And then they give us a package of 30. Our bodies are already pre-programmed to prepare for the famine that is forthcoming. We don’t have to deal with that problem much in the modern first world but the evolution of our beings takes time. We’re not there yet.
So you take a bite of the first DSCCFDOreo and it immediately rings the mental bell. EAT MORE OF THAT! Your body detects sugar, salt, fat, and calorie richness…the very things we need to store up some fat for the famine! We didn’t have this problem before the advent of packaged junk food, or at least not nearly as much. Now we wrap it in advertising so it hits another neurocenter and reminds us that those are the Oreos we loved last year. You know, the ones we ate 3 packs of in 2 days and laid on the sofa hating ourselves while moaning in discomfort? Yeah, that’s the one.
So we are left to get past this section in our local target by using willpower. As I type this it seems pretty easy. But in the real world it is not always so. That’s why the junk food is usually placed strategically around cash registers. It is an impulse buy and you are usually forced to stand there and stare at it for a bit. It is really diabolical if you think about it. Even cruel when you think about the people who struggle with self control or are battling food addiction. You can go deep into the store to get the bananas but you still have to run the gauntlet to leave.
Back to self love. It makes the self control easier. The thought of “I’m not putting that in my body because it won’t help me and may hurt me” sounds like a terrible oversimplification, but it really is a thing. I only started thinking this way about junk food recently. I always knew it, but i didn’t think about it. You have to. You have to mindfully think through it a lot if not all of the time. It is not always easy and your inner jerk will fight you.
But I tell ya, success is really sweet. Not because you skipped the Muddy Buddies, but because you were strong and you proved it. Each little victory is about strength. Passing on a second helping, picking the least-greasy thing on the menu at the burger joint, selecting a healthier restaurant choice, sticking to the outer perimeter at the store, and so on. This doesn’t mean you have wolfed your last McNugget. Far from it. But for me, I have had to have three or four victories before I could allow a slacking. I have found it is better to pick the slacking before I get where it will happen. That way I can better manage my outcome and not fall prey to the power of modern marketing and my own lizard brain.
You can call all this moderation but it is really more than that. That oversimplification has cost us a lot. Moderation is maintenance and it works if it is ingrained. But if it is not then we have to make the choices. I didn’t realize my own battle was rooted in 30 year-old compulsions driven from deep in my psyche. But the interesting thing is, once I began unraveling the mess – it became easier. I stopped planning my meals so far in advance (from fear that if I didn’t I might starve). If I am hungry I eat. When I eat I (mostly) do so slowly. I avoid the calorie bombs. It isn’t always easy but each day is a step. How do I know this works?
I have tried all manners of diets. Like compulsively in some cases. I was keto for over a year! I usually lost a few on the front but eventually it came back. Then I decided to try not treating my body like shit. The results have been mind-blowing. I have a whole new wardrobe (I already owned these items but they were too tight). It is pretty amazing. Granted I’m riding a positive wave at the moment so this may not always be this clear. But that is why I am writing this down. So I can read it later and find sanity.
Part of loving yourself is not internalizing all the pain, anger, bullshit, stress, and anxiety in the world. Part of it is keeping out the toxins. Part of it is treating your own body like you would that of your kids. Do you want them living on ho hos and overeating? Of course not. So why the hell would you do it to yourself? Because you don’t love yourself enough. You may even hate yourself a little. I get it. I really do. This is all kinda new to me too. But I feel like I just rounded the first lap. Thought I would wave. Thought I might say, it’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to be not okay. But if you take baby steps, one at a time and every day to love yourself a little bit, you’d be amazed what can happen.
Stay strong, you’re worth it.
Beta Testing Adulthood 