I suppose we all find ways to add sound to the dearth and to quiet the sound we can’t stand. In my case the sound of the former is the leader on the menu tonight. I know it seems chic to be vulnerable as a man in today’s society. But that is not necessarily easy. “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Now, I don’t portend to be in agreement with Fred on a lot of things but sometimes he says some rather poignant shit that happens to hit on the sweet spot of my day. I’m not going to lie, the last 24 hours has been rough for me through my own making. If I knew why, I could have avoided it. But my inner masochist insists – combined with the advice of others – that I must feel the feelings. As if only in grieving can one find refuge from their own torment.
I don’t have a lot to say tonight but I thought it appropriate to note this. I am doing the work. It sucks but I am doing it. We’re all winging it a bit here and anyone who says differently should be selling cars. I keep waiting for the hard parts to ease and the heartache to show me the road forward. Green grass or not I am stomping my way though it.
Much love and talk to you soon.
Beta Testing Adulthood 