At some point there must exist a defining line between extraordinary optimism and naivety. Of course I am positing this based on my flawed belief structure and not any real settled science. In this venue I feel secure to clarify my own thoughts on the matter although I must warn you I will not resolve anything. I have known many Lucy van Pelts in my brief existence yet I will run for the football every time. If I used the ancient Japanese art of Kintsugi my heart would be solid gold now. The art depends on the kindness of others not to rebreak the piece. That is not a confidence I can rely upon.
I want so badly for the things I consider true to actually be so but as a secular pragmatist I should really know better. So I follow the data in my professional life and it never leads me astray. But in matters of the heart….well….
See also: me. It truly doesn’t matter how much we will something to be true. If there are more than you involved then you should just anticipate disappointment. Getting better is so much less attractive than continuing behavior we know harms us because at least we can control that. Or we can kid ourselves is reality…
This summer has been by far the hardest in my life…and I have endured some really fucking hard summers. I am getting by. But I would love a closet in which to scream or a reprieve from reality.
Just remember; people are who you say they are but later they may not be. No pact you make is worth a thing. Follow Sun-Tzu and assume the worst. Either you will be ready or you will have to explain some overpreparation.
I’ll stop there as the last 40 hours have been enough. Lets clean the slate and try this again later.
Beta Testing Adulthood 