Welcome back! I was thinking today of my trait that requires I be challenged in my life. This is true in most arenas. When I say “I require” I am not saying that they are essential for any and all things, but stagnation and waste of human potential drive me crazy. I am pretty good at challenging myself. I’ve been doing so for the better part of 43 years. I am not always successful at meeting the challenges I set. I’m a stretch-goal kind of lad (if you haven’t figured this out by now you may want to read some of the archives). Mind you, I rarely ask anyone else to meet the level I set in my goals. You see, I am aware how absurdly ridiculous my expectations of myself are and as such I try to keep that torture as masochistic-only.
I still think I may chase that PhD someday. I am pursuing a CHFSP Certification for fun now. This will be my 3rd high-level certification for hospital engineering. I’m a sucker for letters after my name. Really in the case of this one I just want to see if I can beat the test without studying. And that’s not borne of a place of arrogance; I read and apply the relevant content every single day so I think I should already have it nailed.
How does this need for challenge apply in my daily work life? Work is work, and I am fortunate to work in an industry where dynamic learning and critical thinking are valued. Moreover I work with people who challenge me frequently. Sometimes I think they’re trying to stump me…and I love them for that. I learn through application and this is the fastest route.
In everyday life I take it as it comes. I am a father and that definitely keeps me on my toes (literally, they make me coach soccer and my heels suck). My house is cool but it takes a lot to keep up with it. There isn’t much of time to slack off around here as it is. And the other people in my life? They definitely challenge me. I intentionally surround myself with people who won’t let me be lazy.
Lazy has some varying definitions to it. I enjoy being physically active and pushing myself but I detest running and I don’t ever see myself doing a triathlon. Living with a few bum joints and a torn tendon or two has pushed me toward resistance cardio and weight training. In all honesty I like to work out totally alone. If it wouldn’t look creepy I’d wear blackout glasses to the gym. I don’t care what other people are doing I want to listen to my body so I know what IT is doing. So, challenging in my case does not mean looking for people with whom to summit Kilimanjaro.
Challenge as I see it relevant to my interpersonal relationships is intellectual, emotional, and ethical. I will break that down a bit.
Intellectual is crucial. I promise I am not trying to be a snob here. I will drink a beer or a coffee with anybody. But if it is going to be someone I reach out to regularly and someone that I am really drawn to, they have to challenge my grey matter. This can occur in myriad ways but when it happens it happens and a connection occurs. They do not have to think like me. But they do have to think. Accept everything I say and we’re in for some short conversations.
Emotional seems pretty obvious. To me this means helping me manage extremes while not allowing me to sit on my proverbial EQ hands. As we age I find it is so tempting to give into becoming jaded and trying to lock our emotional being down. It is safer in a vault and it certainly helps us stave off getting hurt (I talked about this in my Revisiting post). But, to steal (and bastardize a little) a quote from my main man Ben Franklin, ‘those who would give up emotional liberty for temporary emotional safety deserve neither.’ I see the irony in picking Ben Franklin to talk about interpersonal emotions but he (with my mod) wasn’t wrong. It is okay to require from each other some emotional capital. Otherwise what we are doing is simply transactional.
Ethical is philosophy in itself so nobody can say they have the patent on the definition. For me it means my belief structure (micro) and worldview (macro). On the micro stage there are things like shoplifting and the internals such as Atticus Finch might articulate. On the macro we have police violence, Russian aggression, stock manipulation, Bernie Sanders, and inflexible Boomerism, etc. While this may sound like it should fall in the intellect portion, I feel that the intellect is the bricks and the ethics are the masons.
Find people that challenge you in whatever that looks like for you. This includes your friends, your acquaintances (when appropriate), and your person/SO/PolySOs/Small Colony/partner/spouse/special friend unit. Otherwise why do it? To get by? To make do? Yeah bullshit. I see the temptation but it’s just not who I am. If I do something stupid slap me in the figurative intellectual face. If I allow myself to think about the world through a populist lens to avoid real critical thinking or the seeking of information then kick me in my ethically-malnourished shin. And if I don’t let the emotion out when I should, poke me in the feeler’s eyes. Break the dam for the tears whether they be sorrow or joy
In any event take care of each other. Much love and have a great (physically safe) weekend! Mine has a Gorillaz concert at the Met, some soccer, and some social interaction with kindreds in store.
Beta Testing Adulthood 