Sweet Jesus. I should be better at this. Sorry all, I have made you wait six weeks on this. A lot to unpack but nothing unusal. Well. I was added to a Blueprint article? https://www.bpcmag.com/case-studies/dan-keller-tower-health/?fbclid=IwAR0LW1hIFHmvcgZFYRxJy5R_uhhnYzH-WI5VP12Ru14RjXkgqH4ARBNo28Y
It is always lovely to be recognized. But sweet Jesus, how are we still judging the same settled science? We are way past the “is it real phase” and we are in the “go ahead and open the pool 3 weeks early” phase.
The problem is no longer that we need to have understanding as much as we have to have empathy. Today was another in a long line of thinning in the Towers.
How much stress should one carry?
The portion above this line was written previously and abandoned. Below picks back up…
Wow. I know I was frustrated when I started this post. Reading it now, some time later, a lot of things have happened and revealed to me just how stressed I was. Sometimes you don’t remember swimming but find yourself drenched. That’s where I was. In a hotel in a town where people don’t go unless they have business in that town I was trying to enjoy some solace. The burger was really good. The room was pretty good although traveling solo is pretty lame.
I was at a conference to get continuing education credits. But I was also at a conference to meet a guy who held the key to the future of a hospital. I’m not going to go into that but let’s just say it was a very professionally consequential meeting for me. I was surrounded by smart albeit awkward engineering folks and a host of salespeople. The salespeople were there to plant seeds for the purchase of their wares. Some sold firestopping. Others sold solutions to common problems in hospital engineering. There were people repping air handler manufacturers. A few hermetic furniture upholstery reps were in the house. Architects and engineers were in abundance.
We got the notification of another round of layoffs while I was at the conference. I swear this has to be round 50 since the pandemic started. I understand the why of it but it still stings. Someone I worked with was in this round. I wasn’t a fan of any of the reductions in force but this one hit home more. Add to that while I am walking around this thing I am overhearing some folks talk about global warming. They “don’t think it is going to last.” They think it’s a fluke. Of course the engineers at the event know it’s not. All I can think is “JFC how much proof do you need? Will a charred lifeless husk of a planet convince you?”
Add to that some other minor issues and I was a bit pressurized. One of the reps gave me a stress ball shaped like a hard hat.
I guess I needed it. In retrospect I probably could have turned it into a diamond. We all had to deal with the pandemic. But for those of us in hospitals we came out of it only to find the entire industry in sharp contraction with huge fiscal gaps. Half the staff seems expendable while we can’t find the other half to hire so we’re renting them at a massive markup. It’s hard. I know some people are making travel wages and there are companies making money off them as well. Meanwhile 30 year support employees get the axe. Our thoughts and prayers and hearts and minds can only go out so many times. After a while it seems a silly exercise.
And I felt myself get really tired. Like you feel you’re climbing a mountain that is actually a treadmill. No matter how many rocks you summit you’re getting nowhere. To people outside the industry I think this must look like professional pedantry. It’s just business, right? To us the pandemic didn’t feel like business. And we’re tired. The burnout rate in the industry has skyrocketed. The New Oxford Dictionary defines burnout as, “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. “high levels of professionalism that may result in burnout”
Apparently, I was closer than I thought.
I found myself falling back on bad coping skills. And everyone just went on like everything is fine. As an industry we are chopping into the bone looking for more fat to trim.
This last week I had my deus ex machina. The extent and effects of my internalized stress (not to mention anxiety) was put in front of my face. I have better ways to deal with the stress but I wasn’t doing them. I was letting it just gnaw at me like swimming with a bunch of piranhas with dull teeth.
I forgot some important things. I remember them now.
Sometimes our struggles look to others like we’re just absent. We can look like anthracite-grade assholes. We can forget to celebrate the good things in life…unless we’re hit with them like a bat.
I guess I overestimated how much I can absorb and process without help. I got this though.
If you know someone close to burnout or living with chronic professional stress I wish I knew what to tell you. I can’t say I know how to resolve it. My solution does not involve me switching jobs or anything like that. I just restored some work/life balance and changed a few habits. I may have to do this a few times for it to stick. But I know it can work. Don’t let it sink you. If you love them and if you can, don’t let them sink either. As a practitioner I can tell you we don’t want to.
Beta Testing Adulthood 