Struggles, Part 1

Tonight is a struggle. It happens. There is a gorgeous sunset and the air is perfect. So why feel disconnected from it? Beats me. The mindfulness just isn’t hitting tonight. I’m trying, I promise.

Is there a perfect recipe for feeling connected and grounded? I’ve yet to find it. Sometimes it comes so easy. And sometimes you feel like your life is an aquarium you are looking back in on.

I can’t describe the feeling. It’s kinda numb but not. I think it could be the stirred silt of the last month, two months, or two and a half years. It’s like standing in the eye of a tornado yet everything in my reach is calm tonight.

The tortured ADHD brain just can’t stop and smell the flowers. We’re not wired that way. God I wish I could. I’ll be better dear friends, I know I will. But the unknown is really fucking with me tonight. No time for melancholy though. There is laundry to fold.